'Once, Upon A Time In America' ...weirdface: ... A BUSH Fairy Tale ...
The Gospel According to Saint Dick Another Excerpt from The King George Bible By Court Jester, David Spring [circa 2001]
It was during a time of Great Prosperity that Dubya, the Governor of a large and extremely polluted State, decided to run for President. He was the son of George H. W. Bush who was the son of Herbert Walker Bush who was the son of George Walker Bush who was the son of King George the IV who was the son of King George the III who was the son of King George the Feeble-minded who was the son of King George the Tyrant who was the reason the US rebelled against Monarchy in the first place.
But the People had forgotten the wise warnings of their Founding Fathers. And so a New Plague was about to befall them.
Now at this time of Great Prosperity there was a National Election. And every person went to their hometown in order to vote. All across the land, the evil Democrats were telling lies in order to get the people to vote for them. Fortunately, Dubya's Friends came up with 500 million dollars to spend on TV ads to refute these lies.
But many people still followed the evil ways of the Democrats. Knowing this, Don't Count Jeb, the Duke of Florida, arranged to have 70,000 Democratic Voters illegally removed from the election rolls by a company called Data Base Technologies. Unfortunately, this wasn't quite enough to win the election. It seems that a bad man named Jesse Jackson had registered over 100,000 new Democratic Voters.
Fortunately for Dubya, in a Far Off place called Washington, DC, there lived 5 Wise Judges. Late one night, they received a vision (actually it was a phone call). Their Friend Jim Baker was crying, "They are counting the votes! What can we do?"
A wise judge named Tony the Terror said, " Do not worry. For gifts of Gold and Incense, we will halt the Counting of Votes!"
And so it came to pass that Dubya was anointed King Shrub in a Coronation Ceremony by the Royal Court of Rehnquist. As his first official act, King Shrub declared that Greed, huh, I mean God was on his side. He said, "No man goeth to Bankruptcy except through me". Then He taught the people the New Lord's Prayer:
Our Money which art in the Bank, hollow be thy Power. Thy King has come, Thy will be done, On Main Street as it is on Wall Street. Give us this day our daily bribe and deliver us a new Lexus. For thyn art the Power and the Greedy forever and ever. Amen.
But the people in their wickedness turned their backs on King Shrub and refused to worship the new idol. So King Shrub tore down the Temple of Democracy by unleashing Four Great Plagues on the People.
First he sent out the Monster called Enron which raised Energy Prices for 40 days and 40 nights. This brought the Economy to its knees. Many of the People were unemployed and could not pay their Utility Bills. But still the People would not listen.
Next, he brought out the Monster called Ashcroft who was the Hater of Women and Minorities and the Lover of Guns and Arrogance. But the People were not afraid.
The Third Great Monstrosity was called the Tax Cut. But the People knew it was really just a transfer of a Trillion dollars from the Middle Class to the Very Rich.
The final monstrosity was King Shrub's Faith Based Missile Defense System. But the People knew that this too was merely a Trick to extract another Trillion from the wallets of the Middle Class and give it to Corporations of the Military- Industrial Complex.
In desperation, King Shrub had his Friends in the Corporate Controlled Media go throughout the Kingdom proclaiming his message of Salvation through Greed. The Media Said, " We shall hide the Truth and the Lie shall keep us in Power.”
But the Truth came out through a BBC investigation published on a small Internet Website called Buzzflash.com. Thus in the second year of His Reign of Greed, King Shrub lost his majority in Congress. Then, on the Fourth year of His Reign, King Shrub was crucified on the Cross called Justice. Democracy and Prosperity were returned to the People by the People.
The People had all learned a Great Lesson. In the words of Harry, the Trueman, "If you want to live like a Republican, you'd better vote like a Democrat".
Still, the Ghost of King Shrub, called Global Warming, haunted the Nation for years to come. It caused such a rise in Sea Level that Florida was completely flooded and disappeared. This was the first time in history that an entire State had been baptized and gave new meaning to the phrase, "We shall wash away our sins with Holy Water"
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"If I help not myself, who will help me?" - Hillel
This is a wonderful and true story of how we have gotten ourselves into the biggest mess in our history. Another couple of years and all the Republicans in Congress may cause us to expand our prisons much more by building a number of prison golf clubs for all the big cats that have been putting their hands in the American cookie jar. This is the greediest group ever to serve our nation.
You sound like the type of Republican that is, or should be, running for public office.
Not disgruntled over the election, disgruntled by the poor job this administration is doing for 95% of the U.S. population. While you are proud to have your new Lexus that you probably didn't earn, I'm sure you are just as proud that 1.5 million more people are living in poverty than just 3 years ago. The 5% of the population who care only about themselves certainly have a strong love affair going with GWB and DC.
Former Representative Mark Foley of Florida received a consolitory phone call from an unexpected but welcomed admirer, Michael Jackson.
Michael offered his full support to Foley, and told the troubled republician politian "We need to get together, have a glass of wine, put our thoughts together and get on the same page."
Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning . He told Bush that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq . To everyone's amazement , all the color ran from the President's face , then he collapsed onto his desk , head in hands , visibly shaken , almost whimpering . Finally he composed himself and asked .................
Rummy , just exactly how many is a brazillion ????
The Baker-Hamilton special Iraq study team will release their recommendations Wednesday. Rumsfeld's plan that he submitted November 6 the day before the last election, and Bush has his own study going on from the Defense Department. Have we ever been in such a mess in many decades? Bush keeps saying he will stay the course until we have victory and at the same time Republican Newt Gingrich has said victory is no longer possible in Iraq. We need to fine a graceful way to get out of Iraq.
Even many Republicans have come around to recognize the President is in denial. Iraq and Iran used to be enemies. Since we invaded Iraq they have gradually come together and the Islamic world is more united than in many centuries. Now America is the common enemy of the Islamic world.
Our beloved nation and it's compassionate people have helped millions of people around the world these past two plus centuries. Read the book "1776" by David McCullah about how our raggedy citizens beat the powerful Kingdom of Brittain in our Revolutionary War. The Brittish believed that within three months or less they could teach the colonies a lesson by punishing them with a good beating. When troops from another country come to fight you on the soil you and your families live upon, there is a great resolve and determination within your heart and soul that can help you overcome a stronger opponent. Saddam Hussain is a wicked person, but we, the most powerful nation in the world, should not have invaded another country. After 9/11 our nation had the world standing by our side united against terrorism. Five years later we have the world turned against us.
We have a tough journey ahead of us. We are deep in debt. We still depend on the Middle East for our oil. Our manufacturing base of jobs has been in a steep decline. And we are in a war that will be very hard for us to wind down effectively.
It is time for Republicans and Democrats to shut down the pork barrels and join together to make a bi-partisan effort to do what is best for our nation. The Bush-Cheney team have had no interest in bi-partisonship. Bush has not wanted any opinions except those that agreed with him. He got rid of those who asked tough questions and differed with Bush-Cheney.
We face some tough times ahead and we can not afford to have another President and Vice President who are as secretive and sheltered from the real world.
